Compassion And Commitment – Influential and transformational leaders care about their cause with thoughtfulness and compassion. Their kindness makes them get out of bed every morning excited and energized to do good and prevent evil. Their goal in life is greater than their self-gratification or any personal gain. Their great ambition is clear through the lifelong goals they set for themselves as they seek to answer the question: How can I make a difference? Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) said, “he Love for others what you love for yourself.” A simple statement that sets the rules of engagement in any type of relationship. Great leaders go beyond this bare minimum and pursue goals that have a more positive impact on others than on themselves. In my humble opinion, there is no better way to influence others to join your cause than to show how much you care. Compassion is guided by a moral compass and is projected through care and inclusion towards all, regardless of how different people are physically, socially or even intellectually. Leaders don’t redefine norms and cultures, but improve them by leveraging the rich diversity within the organization. Compassionate leaders understand that bias deprives organizations of invaluable opportunities and valuable contributions.
Courage is the second characteristic of influential leaders. They have the audacity and courage to challenge the status quo and present an alternative they sincerely believe in. An alternative motivated by the first trait: compassion and care. They are poised to create a paradigm shift by transforming organizations, communities and nations for the better. Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, “Fight for what you care about, but do it in a way that brings others to join you.” Great leaders are ready to take unpopular positions that are crystal clear to them, even if they might seem controversial. to the others. They don’t give up pressure unless it supports their cause and everyone’s prosperity. More than 10 years ago, Paul Polman, Unilever’s new CEO at the time, had bold ideas that challenged conventional business strategies as he focused on long-term versus short-term investments, a sustainability plan integrated into Unilever’s corporate strategy. Unilever and boldly asserting that it did not work for shareholders but for stakeholders. It wasn’t popular at the time, but ten years later it became mainstream. Such strong commitment, great vision and a courageous stance have transformed Unilever and strengthened its purpose.
Compassion And Commitment
Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, “Fight for what you care about, but do it in a way that brings others to join you.”
Leading With Compassion In Times Of Change On Vimeo
Commitment is the backbone that has kept influential leaders steadfast in pursuing their purpose. They have clarity on their goal and look for the best process to achieve it. Steve Jobs said, “Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” While it is important for great leaders to achieve their purpose in their lifetime, they work tirelessly, with resilience and determination, to establish a blueprint that helps others achieve it. They never pursue a failing status quo because they fully understand that doing the same thing over and over doesn’t produce different results. Engaged leadership means building an organization fit for purpose to deliver value to all stakeholders over the long term. Through strong and consistent commitment, transformational leaders pursue their purpose with consistency, determination and agility; while remaining true to its guiding principles.
Steve Jobs said, “Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
Compassion is the compass that guides influential leaders as they pursue their purpose; courage is what makes the goal they care about possible; and commitment provides sustaining energy to overcome any challenges along the way. All other leadership traits derive from these. Compassion is defined as “a sensitivity to the suffering of oneself and others – and a commitment to preventing and alleviating it” (Paul Gilbert).
This definition gives equal priority to compassion for others and compassion for ourselves. For many of us, especially those in the helping professions, compassion for others is a key factor in our choices. But this often comes at the expense of self-care.
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Cultivating self-compassion means being kind to ourselves and allowing ourselves to receive kindness from others. It also means taking steps to prevent and alleviate our suffering. As I’ve described before, this isn’t always very nice. Sometimes being truly compassionate towards ourselves means doing things that make us uncomfortable, like setting clear boundaries and saying no to others.
So while compassion is about kindness and warmth, it also embodies the core qualities of wisdom, strength, and commitment.
Take a moment to consider what actions embody this for you? Who do you know, personally or around the world, who represents these qualities? Can you think of a time when you acted compassionately towards yourself, even when it might have been difficult?
Kristin Neff is the leading researcher in the field of self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as giving ourselves the same kindness and care that we would give to a good friend. This is much easier said than done and we must view compassion as a skill to be learned and practiced.
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Compassionate practice is not the same as relaxation: it can sometimes make you feel very uncomfortable. Have you ever been able to hold things together during a difficult time until someone is kind to you? When someone who cares about you senses your suffering and acknowledges it through kind words or gestures, we can immediately find ourselves in touch with our pain.
This is a phenomenon known as “backdraft”. Backdraft “is rapid or explosive combustion of superheated gases in a fire, caused when oxygen rapidly enters an oxygen-poor environment.” When we open ourselves to compassion we also open ourselves to pain. This is why we often work to turn off compassion, so we can avoid our pain. But unfortunately we are not able to selectively repress emotions: blunting one part of ourselves inevitably leads to blunting other parts. This in turn leads to disconnection. If we can always leave the door to compassion open, even just a little, this will help foster a healthier flow of emotional experience.
It’s hard to be friends with someone who shuts things down when they get difficult, because that doesn’t allow for deep, authentic connections. A deep friendship will make room for all feelings, good and bad. If we can offer this to ourselves, we will be able to connect more with the things that really matter to us. That’s how…
Awareness: Being able to recognize your current experience without judging or criticizing it. It can be as simple as taking a moment to notice what thoughts and feelings are manifesting in you. Grounding techniques can help you do this in a way that keeps you present, without being overwhelmed by an emotional storm.
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Common-humanity: recognizing that being human means experiencing pain and being imperfect. It also means that you share it with every other person on the planet, past, present and future. You are not alone in your suffering, no matter how isolated you may feel right now.
Self-kindness: Directing warmth and kindness toward your suffering. Consciously consider what you need in this moment: does it remind you that you are good enough? Is it forgiveness, rest or a calming gesture?
There are many ways to put these ideas into practice. It can be as simple as taking a moment to consider these three steps—a self-compassion pause is a great way to do this. You could take time to do a guided meditation focusing on self-compassion or write yourself a compassionate letter.
We could all benefit from more self-compassion in our lives – incorporating a daily practice is a great way to strengthen this skill. You could find a way to include it in your daily routine, e.g. when do you have your morning cup of tea, brush your teeth before bed or take a coffee break during a working day?
Nurturing Knowledge And Compassion
If you are able to practice regularly you will find that you can draw on this skill when you really need it during times of stress or difficulty.
If you’re looking for more support in developing self-compassion, therapy (particularly compassion-focused therapy, or CFT) could be really helpful. If you would like to talk to me to see if I can be the right therapist for you, book a free call.
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